Bidding

“Now, me and baby got this situation

See, brother got this complex occupation

And it ain't that he don't have education

'Cause I was right there at his graduation

Now, I ain't sayin' that this life don't work

But, it's me and baby that he hurts

'Cause I tell him right

He thinks I'm wrong

But I love him strong

He gave me the life that I came to live (Erykah Badu, “Otherside of the Game” July 28, 1997)

Another holiday alone with lil man and me. My man “...game me the life that I came to live, yes you did!” Every day him calling telling me what I can and not do. I feel like lil man and I bidding.

I can’t keep videoing and sending him packages. Shit, we barely eatin’! Money is tight and all I hear from my worker “you got to get a job.” That b- had the nerve to threaten to call ACS because I can’t find a job. Doesn’t she know it ain’t easy holding me down, a baby and man locked-up.

The only people I got are my “girls” where there is a place I can talk my shit, act up and no one there judging me because of how I live, what I look like, or who my man is or me. I login on zoom, yeah, zoom on Fridays where the girls tlook like me, talk like me and mirror where I am from the Bronx. We talk about all kinda stuff, but what is important are our kids. Lil man gets excited seeing me laughing and talking, and at the end of the night the two of us are playing and laughing. The tears don’t stop, but It’s a world of our own, but than tomorrow come and it’s back to the bull-shit. “Don’t worry baby I know there’s confusion l God’s gonna see us through.”

Peace